Yearly Archives: 2010

very random thoughts

Awake at 3am

Perhaps you’re familiar with 3am. I frequently wake up in the middle of the night, usually around 3. Sometimes it’s closer to 4am, and obnoxiously 5am.

If I’m lucky, sleep returns quickly. But most mornings my luck results in an hour or 2 awake with a slow morning when I finally do get out of bed.

Sure, I could just get up when I first realize it’ll be a while before I get to sleep, but then I’d be awake. And I’d have to do my whole day on 4 hours of sleep, which I can only pull off on occasion. Sleeping later is out because the only thing worse than simply waiting to go back to sleep is trying to wake up from a nap.

But the thing about waking up in the middle of the night is the different emotional responses to the various times.

5am carries its annoyance all day. This stems from 5am usually being almost enough sleep to make it through the day but missing the amount by a fraction.

4am side-tracks. This is certain if a game begins and sleep crashes in.

But out of all of the mid-sleep times to wake up, my favorite is 3am. I have yet to encounter another situation or time with the same kind of longing and regret as 3am.

3am longs for the past moments in a way that makes even decades minuscule barriers. Each moment, person, opportunity seems within reach at 3am. And each missed opportunity crushes the soul more completely at 3am. It is the only time that simultaneously hopes and despairs for the moments impossible to reach.

Life lived with the perspective of 3am would be richer for the bold acts, but it would also contain such profound regrets.

life

Car fire in the parking structure

PC020219
Seriously, is there a better way to end a Thursday at work than with an extra hour wait for the fire department to put out a car fire in the structure that contains your car? I submit that there isn’t. Especially if that Thursday lands in the same week as the University of California application deadline, and you are tasked to read what eventually blurs into feeling like eleventy billion personal statements.

Continue reading Car fire in the parking structure →

made of win, music, review

Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

The new My Chemical Romance album is out, and it is completely worth the interruption in The Umbrella Academy.

When the album teaser was released, I was rather excited. Now that I own the album, I’m closer to ecstatic. The opening is fun and spunky and unpolished. “Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)” blends together the best in non-lyrical music. Seriously, 3/4 of the song must be “Na”, but because the instrumentation and mixing are clean, it creates a great blend of exuberant joy.

And then, nearly half-way through the album, “Planetary (GO!) starts through the speakers. I’ve already repeated this song more than any other on this album. The beat makes me want to dance* and brings joy to my heart. And its the best example of why I think I like this album so much already. Continue reading Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys →

writing

NaNoWriMo Update 1

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Appeal Request from Lenny Bruce v. Hon. John M. Murtagh, Criminal Court of the City of New York: Special Sessions: County of New York: Part 2B: Frank S. Hogan, The District Attorney of the County of New York, 12/15/1964
Well, now that November is 12 days old, NaNoWriMo is ending the second week. With a goal of 1,667 words a day, I should be completing just over 20,000 words today.

But I’m not. I should make it well past the 3,000 word mark today. And though that’s not on track for winning this year’s NaNoWriMo, I’m actually very pleased with myself.

So far, my NaNoWriMo story (with the terrible title Mars Attack [it desperately needs to be finished so it can tell me a better title]) is the longest work of fiction I’ve written. I write a lot of very short stories and rambling blog posts, but I don’t usually write even short-stories. The only other venue I’ve written so many words in was the MA, but even there I ranged on the short side of all the writing. My thesis, the giant paper that I spent almost 2 years researching and writing in order to get my degree, was short at almost 70 pages.

Continue reading NaNoWriMo Update 1 →

writing

NaNoWriMo 2010

Well, it’s November again. All Hallows Eve was spent watching black and white horror movies, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and Walking Dead.

And when the clock rolled over to mark the beginning of November, National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) kicked off. And for the second year, I’m attempting to write a novel length (50,000 words) story all in the month of November.

Last year was my first attempt, and I think I set too high of a goal for myself then. But this year I have a longer story mulling in my head and acceptance of my limits as a writer. But I also want to challenge myself to get better, and the only way to do that is to try tasks that I think are just outside of my ability.

And so I’m on attempting NaNoWriMo again. We’ll see how many words I put down this year. I’ll post updates here, for people not signed up on the NaNoWriMo site. Or you can friend me there. I go by the handle EnglishN3rd.

If you’re headed into a month of furious writing – good luck. If you’re sitting out this year – don’t feel too bad if all the writers you know are absorbed in their projects. November isn’t that long, so we’ll all be back before you know it!

rant, very random thoughts

Reason #465 Why I Dislike Facebook

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Inauguration of Mr. Lincoln, March 4, 1861 (LOC)
Inauguration of Mr. Lincoln, March 4, 1861 (LOC)

This is a rant. Not about the lack of privacy or the company deciding what I want to opt into. This is a rant on the way people use Facebook.

I’ve noticed a disturbing trend among my friends to rely on Facebook for the dissemination of important life news. It is a trend that I see beyond my friends, with Australia serving legal notices through the social site. But I am really just concerned with the posting of news from my friends. Continue reading Reason #465 Why I Dislike Facebook →

very random thoughts

Foot of the Undead: 4

zombie feet 1I had gotten comfortable. My foot was under my control once more; the dread and paranoia were finally beginning to abate. My life seemed to have moved on and reached a normal state.

And then, as always happens in these types of stories, the zombie foot reappeared.

But this time, the zombie foot arrived in a different form – an envelope full of papers requesting money. First the lab requested money for the blood work that revealed I was normal. This was followed by the bill for the neurologist who wanted money for the torture session that also determined I was normal. And then finally a monster of a bill for the MRI that concluded my lower back was not the cause of my zombie foot.

I could have told them all that my problem was nothing more than a dose of too much horror. And possibly the preservatives in the crappy food I eat. But instead I had to undergo close to $3000 USD of medical procedures and tests. And I thank God that I have the ability to pay for health insurance, because the 1/3 of that I still have outstanding will be enough of a challenge. Paying the total amount out-of-pocket would have been impossible.

And so my ability, luck, and foresight (and growing up the child of an insurance agent) saved me from the sneak attack of the zombie foot. But now I know that my zombie foot may strike at any time. Despite my current control over my foot, I have learned now that it will ever hunger for my brain. I must be ever cautious of its actions and plans to destroy me.

books, review

The Hunger Games

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The Hunger Games, a young adult novel set in the very sad future of the United States of America, is a fantastic story. Suzanne Collins obviously knows her apocalyptic fiction, as she crafts a story with characters that remain human in an inhuman world. The novel fits very nicely within the grand tradition of life after the end of the world under a dictatorship.

I really love the characters, especially Katniss. Her emotional growth and conflict rise about the brutal conflict we watch her struggle through. Much like Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery”, I care what happens to the narrator, even as I am confused by the world she lives in. The optimist in me thinks that this world could never come to be, but the realist sees the world of George Orwell’s 1984 becoming reality and knows that it just takes the right conditions.

Why this novel isn’t a 5 star for me is because of the length. I wish that the trilogy was condensed to 1 book. Continue reading The Hunger Games →

music

My Chemical Romance Danger Days

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Hazel & Cha-Cha
Hazel & Cha-Cha from Umbrella Academy: Dallas (Marc Ellerby's flickr)

In what may be the most entertaining album teaser for the twisted I’ve seen this year, My Chemical Romance provided a taste of their new album Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys. Sadly, the teaser lacks a release date, but I’m so excited to get a real taste of the album after following the band member twitter feeds for what feels like an eternity.

Welcome to the Black Parade was the album that finally sold me on MyChem. Perhaps it was the morbid concept behind the album. It could have been the resonance of Smashing Pumpkins “Tonight, Tonight” video. Or it could just be that I’m a complete sucker for well crafted concept albums, due mostly to playing Queen’s A Night at the Opera repeatedly on my parents’ record player growing up.

Regardless of the draw, I was hooked on the band. I am a huge fan of Gerard Way‘s other work The Umbrella Academy (I’m hoping the 3rd series gets to move up on the list now that the album is done), but that has little to do with why I like MyChem. So I did what any sane fan does in the socialmediaoverload world that currently exists, I started stalking the band on Twitter.

Which is how I found their album trailer. And why I’m so excited I’m pausing other work to post this.

From the trailer, I’m guessing the new album is another concept album. I love the idea of a group of renegades causing trouble in a world that looks like a live action version of The Umbrella Academy: Dallas. Blending Emo and Grunge is a funny look, but the sound is something I’m really looking forward to.

If the rest of the album follows the trend of what’s posted of “Art is the Weapon”, I know this album will quickly become a new favorite. Once the album is released, the sound as a whole will stand out, which will make it easier to describe. What I noticed, and liked, in the clip is the essence of My Chemical Romance’s sound without the repetition of anything I’ve heard by them. I like the risks, and I’m hoping they payoff as a whole.

So check out their video and then check their site. Hopefully soon is really soon and not the fake soon that happens sometimes.

very random thoughts

Foot of the Undead: 3

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Hopefully this will be the final installment in the foot of the undead series as the zombie foot returned to the realms of the living.

For now.

Of course, as Toni Morrison writes in Beloved, anything dead coming back to life hurts. And man did it hurt.

The natural process tiptoed up and fixed everything without much fanfare. The neurologist, however, had to check that all was well. And the way that one checks that nerves have no issues requires an electric current and needles.

So after what must have been an eternity of suffering an external electrical current in my legs followed by needles in both feet, legs, and lower back, the doctor pronounced everything as normal. He offered a diagnosis of a pinched nerve in my left leg at the knee, by crossing my leg, wearing tight clothes or high heels, or hitting my knee against something.

I will have to limit the amount that I wear high heels (no great sacrifice on my part), and I will be sure not to wear tight fitting clothes (the rest of the world will rejoice) all in an effort to prevent my foot from joining the league of the undead forever.

These modifications won’t simply be to keep from suffering the annoyance of dragging my foot everywhere again – I’ll need both feet to run from the hordes of the undead when the zombie apocalypse finally hits.