Foot of the Undead: 3

Hopefully this will be the final installment in the foot of the undead series as the zombie foot returned to the realms of the living.

For now.

Of course, as Toni Morrison writes in Beloved, anything dead coming back to life hurts. And man did it hurt.

The natural process tiptoed up and fixed everything without much fanfare. The neurologist, however, had to check that all was well. And the way that one checks that nerves have no issues requires an electric current and needles.

So after what must have been an eternity of suffering an external electrical current in my legs followed by needles in both feet, legs, and lower back, the doctor pronounced everything as normal. He offered a diagnosis of a pinched nerve in my left leg at the knee, by crossing my leg, wearing tight clothes or high heels, or hitting my knee against something.

I will have to limit the amount that I wear high heels (no great sacrifice on my part), and I will be sure not to wear tight fitting clothes (the rest of the world will rejoice) all in an effort to prevent my foot from joining the league of the undead forever.

These modifications won’t simply be to keep from suffering the annoyance of dragging my foot everywhere again – I’ll need both feet to run from the hordes of the undead when the zombie apocalypse finally hits.

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