All posts by EnglishNerd

A born nerd specializing in English, which currently includes gaining a better understanding of how the field of Education intersects with the discipline of English.

Rock and Water (part 1)

So I’m totally enjoying this time. I’ve started writing another story. I have no real idea where this is going. I’m still writing it. Maybe it’ll be long. Maybe it’ll just be long for me. In any event, the first part is done enough for the moment. I’m sure it’ll be revised several times. It’s kinda a fun game.

Leau couldn’t believe that she’d followed Felsen up here. It was true that there was nothing she liked better than water and rocks, but this was more than a little crazy. The water was crashing over the rock, and he wanted her to walk on top of it all? What kind of crazy person had she let lead her here? There was every possibility that they could get washed off. That was all well and good, but you never knew what could happen. What if they got swept off the rock and into some other world? Who knew what kind of crazy things would happen to their lives while they were away. Unless they ended up in a world that ran on a different time from theirs, then it wouldn’t be as bad because they would only be gone for a bit. That could be fun – traveling to different world. What if it was all underwater? That might be a bit difficult to manage, but the great thing about traveling to other worlds was that if they were significantly different from your own something in the traveling process made it so that you could survive. That’s how it always worked in the stories she’d read.
“I wonder what would happen if a wave washed us off… What would we find under the rocks?”
“I dunno. We’d probably get bashed into them and drown. The waves aren’t that big though, so there’s no need to worry about it.”

That was Felsen – practically pessimistic. As they reached the top of the rock and looked over the edge, Leau was beginning to hope (for one of the first times in her life) that nothing fantastic would happen. She’d forgotten that Felsen had never really read fantasy books, and while he’d watched some anime and science fiction, his favorites were always the rational ones and not so much the fantastic. He would have no idea how to fight a dragon, or what to do in the event of a goblin attack, or where the best places to find help would be. If they did get washed off the rock Leau would have to take charge because Felsen would immediately entrap them in the wizard’s plan to take over the kingdom, or the queen’s plot to overthrow the ruling powers. They would be dead in about two seconds if she didn’t take over. And while she didn’t mind taking charge, she didn’t want to have to explain all the conventions of the story they were in the midst of trying to save their lives. It’d just be easier if Felsen already understood how whatever world they found themselves in worked.

But those were all simply stories that Leau had played out in her head, and there was no real way that they would get washed off the rocks and into one of them. She wasn’t calling on the Goblin King, so there wouldn’t be an owl or anything; it would just be like all the other times they’d climbed on the rocks and played along the tidepools.

As the sun set over the ocean, the golden light gleamed off the water’s surface and made Leau squint. The sun was getting ever closer to the golden moment when everything would look like something out of the King Midas myth and even people like Felsen could feel the magic that bubbled under the surface of the world. And as Leau squinted into the sunset, she saw, for the briefest of moments, what she thought was a building. She looked harder and convinced herself that it was a new oil tower and not anything to be worried about. But as Leau looked again, she was unconsciously inching closer to Felsen. If they were about to be transported to another world, she wasn’t going to be too far to reach his hand. If there was one thing that she knew was imperative to their survival in whatever might happen in the next few moments it was that they had to end up in the same place together. Since he wasn’t interested in her, Felsen would never be close enough for Leau to grab his hand to ensure that wherever they went next, they would go there together. And at the moment that a wave she never saw coming swept up high onto the rock, the building resolved and she reached for his hand.
Felsen, however, didn’t have a clue as to what was happening, and so he didn’t reach out for her. He hadn’t been watching the sunset and the liquid gold flow over the surface of the earth. Oblivious to the glorious wonder he was missing, Felsen had been staring down in a tidepool and watching the progress of one of the numerous hermit crabs through its daily gauntlet for food. He’d heard the wave coming and quickly stood up. Felsen had just enough time to see that Leau was captivated by something out in the water and peer out into the sun. He hadn’t noticed Leau’s move closer to him, and didn’t reach out for her because he had no idea that her movement was necessary for them to end up in the next place together. But as Leau felt her body slipping off the rock and into the water that would conduct them to the unknown, she reached out farther and just managed to grab his hand. Once she was certain that they were now going to end up in the same place, Leau began to relax ever so slightly. Even if she’d have to teach him the ways of fantasy, at least she was with someone reliable and smart. He’d learn fast enough and then would be tremendously more fun to travel with.   

Cellophane flowers

So here is (probably the first) part of a story that I’ve written. And while I’m the author, it should be noted that I operate under the view that authors can write pretty much anything and not have it be completely autobiographical, nor something that they completely believe. I also do not work within the framework that authors completely determine the meaning of texts. That said, here is a story that I have written, take it for what you will…

“Cellophane flowers of yellow and green, Towering over your head. Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes, And she’s gone. Lucy…” His mind began to wander away from the words in the radio. It’d been like that for awhile now – jumping from one thing to the next. Whether this jump was out of self-preservation or just the same ADD he’d been suffering from was still up for debate. The song always had reminded him of everything he was drinking to erase, but with the self-destructive bent he’d been on recently, self-preservation didn’t seem like the most likely option. Brains were funny things though so he was left with the glimmer of uncertainty.

And really he’d nearly drunk enough to go through into the lab to begin the erasing process so he could’ve simply left Lucy in the sky to prep himself for this next phase. Memory erasure was still pretty new and he wasn’t entirely convinced he wouldn’t end up in a vegetative state from this brilliant idea. It was rather convenient that part of the process was to get drunk. He tended to feel much braver after a few drinks.Downing the last of his beer, he got up and walked to the back door. The attendant scanned him and, after verifying his blood alcohol level, moved aside so he could enter the lab. After one final bracing breath and quick review of why he couldn’t not do this, Led stepped over the threshold and walked with resolve to the next attendant. And while he was prepped, that same stuttering entered his consciousness. He ignored it, and, as the process began, he surrendered to the inevitable release and embraced the life that waited.

Led wasn’t actually running from anything more specific than a less than noticable life. He’d opted for the premium treatment to have the life he’d known erased and a better one uploaded. It was an easy decision as soon as he’d heard about it. There wasn’t much anything in Led’s life that he couldn’t let go of. There was no family, no friends that would really care if he suddenly didn’t exist, he wasn’t even irreplaceable at work. He was just another mediocrity taking up space in the world. He’d originally thought that suicide would be the best use of his life so that there could be more resources for someone the world would actually give a damn about, but he wasn’t that level of discontent yet. So he figured he’d push the restart button and try life again. If it failed this time, he’d left himself a note in his safe deposit box so that he’d avoid being stuck always trying again and again and be able to end his sad excuse for a life.

When Led had given his two week notice, his manager looked slightly surprised, but didn’t ask any questions. He hadn’t bothered to tell any of the other people he knew; what the point was in explaining his actions to an audience who didn’t care? The company had asked their routine questions to prevent people from dodging the law through the erasure, but once they were satisfied that he was legit, they too stopped caring. Even Led hadn’t really bothered to push himself to answer why he’d decided that the life he’d had wasn’t worth his, or anyone else’s, time.

If pressed, Led might have mumbled something about not doing much with his life and about how, as just another drone, the best thing he could do to advance society was give up his place so that someone with ideas (or a backbone) could thrive and make life better for everyone.  

Very altruistic sounding.

The reality of the situation was not as self-sacrificing (it never is).

What Led was unwilling to face, even for himself and with no one ever knowing, was that Led was tired of being alone.

For as long as Led had been alive, he’d been alone. For reasons he didn’t fully understand, he’d never found anyone to be paired with. He’d seen the few friends he’d had get married, or thought of them in conjunction with other friends, but he’d never experienced that. Even at work he’d never been put on a project with the same person consistently. There would occasionally be groups that he’d work with, but not one person who got to know him better than anyone else. If he’d taken the time to reflect on his life, Led might have thought through why it was that no one was paired with him, and why he’d never invited anyone’s curiosity.

But that was not something that occupied Led’s mind. And so Led had led a life that left him unsatisfied to the point of restarting it through the new erasure process. That was pretty much all there was to Led – a life alone full of non-self-reflection. But as he opened his eyes, rubbed his hand through his sandy-brown hair, and took stock of the room he found himself in, all that had made up his life before was gone. He no longer even had the option of taking stock of why people hadn’t ever felt the need to get to know him because that Led was gone. Sure the safe deposit key was there, along with a very few other personal affects, but the man who had created and cared for them no longer existed. Led was on the brink of a whole new world.

This song is fantastic

So I know this cd has been out for a bit, and the video has been up for a bit, so tons of people probably have seen it, but I’ve just recently been introduced by one of my friends to how great Muse is. This song is great not only because they go through a crazy “Small World” style ride, but the words are beautiful and lovely and so encouraging. So I hope that we really can use this chance to turn things around and say that together we’re invincible…

Alice in Wonderland

Cory Doctorow read all of Alice in Wonderland out loud and posted it on his website. He reads so very well and has a fantastic voice for it. And since it’s one of my favorite stories (though I do like Through the Looking Glass slightly better, only because it has Humpty Dumpty) and he’s one of my new favorite authors, I couldn’t help but share. It’s nearly two and a half hours, but definitely enjoyable and worth it.

Literary characters

So I’ve been thinking of literary characters that I am most like. This list is not very short (I can’t simply pick one or two), and it may appear random, but there is a method. So in no particular order here’s the list of literary characters that reflect me in some way and together create a picture of what I am like. I think I’ll leave the reasons why off for the time being. That seems like a much more entertaining game….

J. Alfred Prufrock
Matthais Lane
Blue van Meer
Harry Potter
Vicky Austin
Meg Murry
Stephen Daedelus

I’m sure I’ll find more as I continue to read. Maybe I’ll do one with television or movie characters…

Golden Compass series

Ok, so first of all, I feel the need to put a warning that this will contain spoilers for the whole series of books. Also, it has the great potential to degenerate into a rant.
So there’s a controversy about the Golden Compass book and movie. The story is written by an atheist and does not paint Christianity and the Church (particularly the Catholic Church) in a favorable light. And the email that’s going around talks about how two characters kill God and how that is a horrible thing. Well, if the character called God in the book was actually like the God described in the Bible, I could understand being upset. But as it stands, they aren’t at all the same thing. The God character in the series sounds more like satan than anything else. And the God in the book is very sad, and the moment of his death (which was not at all malicious or intentional on the part of the kids in the book) is actually a relief. And the presentation of the Church in the books resembles that of the Catholic Church around the time of the Reformation (which is generally agreed to be a dark time in the history of the Church), with its Inquisition style committees and preoccupation with sin and works and labeling most any new scientific advance heresy, and really should not be allowed to continue.
What I find most striking is that the critics focus on the words as they stand and not what they mean in the context of the story. I think if they looked beyond the words on the page, those critics would find that Pullman’s story really does represent what the story of Christ and Christianity is truly about – the need for us to love and live the life we have in love for others. I think this really is what God wants from us – for us to love and live our lives as if that love actually mattered to ourselves and those around us. This is what Lyra and Will discover in the end, and while it’s painful for both of them, they know it’s the best way to live. There are many times that Christians and the Church lose sight of that, or stumble in the implementation, but, much like the angel who comes through in the end, we cannot give up trying, no matter the ways in which we fail. Stopping without even trying is the ultimate failure, and I think that’s an important point that Pullman makes in his books. He also emphasizes the importance of love and actually living, and I don’t know how we can honestly argue against that.
Sure, if a person doesn’t want their child being exposed to that when they are young, keep that from them. But I can’t stand it when I am then judged because I don’t abide by the rules that someone else has laid out. The gospels have Jesus saying “If you love me you’ll keep my commandments.” The commandments that are recorded in those same gospels are loving God with all that I am, loving my neighbors as myself, and, as I am going, to preach the good news that God really does love humanity. There are other social rules that he doesn’t nullify, but the actual commandments from Jesus are few in number. They cover a lot, but they focus more on the attitude of people than they do on the actions of people. That to me seems like the best course to take. And I think I have a broader perspective on what it means to love and live after reading the His Dark Materials series.

Cool things that I’ve learned about online that help others

So one of the things that I love is easy ways to help others. Here are a few links that I’ve come across through the lovely internet. The first is Kiva.org which is a website that creates opportunities for people to provide micro loans for others around the world. I think this is fantastic since numerous people only need what many consider a small amount of money to fund their business ideas. The other is Freerice.com which lets people play word games to donate rice to people around the world. There’s no signing up, there’s no financial commitment, you just have to click on the definition of the word that’s provided. And that’s probably the best thing ever. It’s a more productive way to waste those extra few minutes. Just wanted to share these because that’s what I like to do. Sharing is caring.

So it’s been awhile…

So I haven’t written in a long time… I’ve been busy, and I wasn’t sure what I wanted to use this space for. And then I became concerned. But I think that I will use this space to finish the numerous conversations I have. Which a rather silly statement because I leave this open to more comments and that’s no real way to end anything. It is a great way to continue the conversation though, and I think that’s what I do in my head. So I will use this space to expand my ideas by opening them up to everyone else’s. I find this forum very entertaining and I think I want to be a part of it…
So I’m back. I guess we’ll see what happens this time….

Quotes…..

I love quotes. They are very often the best way to sum up whatever it is you are trying to say. And they do it with such panache. Which makes sense since that is precisely why they are quotes. There is something about the way the words are put together in that way that just rings. It’s like a beautiful melody that you wake up humming, yet barely remember until you hear it somewhere else. You can pretend to be serious, you can’t pretend to be witty, but you can steal wit effectively. And it is a great inside joke when you do it.
Reading lots of everything about everything and listening to whatever comes into range is a great way to pick up quotes, as long as you have some way to store all that information. It’s fine if you don’t, but only if everyone already knows that you read and listen to as much as you can. Inevitably you will misquote something, which is fine because misquotation is the pride and privilege of the widely-read. Obviously because a widely-read person never quotes accurately for the rather obvious reason that they are widely-read. So just learn to laugh at your mistakes and move on. There are always three good reasons to walk away from anything.
My one wish, though, is that I could be smart enough to actually come up with really good quotes. I guess I’d have to be a genius then. Well, everyone is a genius at least once a year it’s just that real geniuses have their bright ideas closer together. That’s what I wish would happen to me. But genius has its limits… The funny thing is that genius cannot be learned. I think that genius is more the application of an education — education being that which survives when what has been learned has been forgotten. Or perhaps geniuses are just those who have found out what the love doing with their life and have found people willing to pay them for it. Or maybe geniuses are those who dream things that never were and say, “why not?”
Or maybe I just like screwing with people and am really an intellectual kleptomaniac. I say a lot of things. I love thoughts and discussion and banter and parsing and playing the clown. I love nothing more that to find a weak spot in a statement and push it to see what happens. I am that person who will press your bruise to see if it hurts. The funny thing is that I will simultaneously be in pain with you and yet smile to see that my hypothesis was correct. Or maybe I just like to think that I am really like that…
I am more of an enigma than people give me credit for, and less of on than I would like to be. And I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say, but I love to see where the words lead. Once I get started, I’m hard-pressed to tell you where I’ll end. I wish more people had as much fun with language as I do; they might just laugh more and waste fewer days.